It’s Thanksgiving week and I have a blog. It feels like it may be a law that I write about gratitude. This feels especially true since gratitude has been my rudder as I navigate the rough seas in my life.
So I decided to share with you some surprising things I am grateful for. Here we go….
3 “Terrible” Things I am Grateful for:
My divorce – I am not always happy to be alone. I truly wish I were with the love of my life (whoever that is). However, I have done a lot of work on myself this past year, especially around my life’s love relationships. I have come to terms with the fact that my adult relationships that I developed after my college boyfriend grew from a place of fear. The “original” love of my life was controlling and jealous. Everyone since then has been weak, needy and/or apathetic. My fear of being controlled led me to make not so good decisions. I now have a chance to start clean. I have a chance to meet the right man for me. A man that can be my equal. A man that can be my partner.
My Children’s Autism – When I first realized both my children were Autistic I was devastated. Everything in my life became a question mark. Our future seemed bleak and difficult. I still don’t know what it will mean for us in 10 years. HOWEVER, I now see this as a challenge instead of a life sentence. These children have taught me more about living life to the fullest than anyone on the planet. They are a complete blessing in my life and in my humble opinion a blessing in this world. They have given me the opportunity to grow and recognize the important things in life – things have nothing to do with scholarship or earning money. I am beyond grateful for them and the lessons they have imparted to me.
The sale of my home – Last year finances made it imperative that I sell my home. To say that it was heartbreaking is an understatement. I was not ready to leave that house. It sheltered us through a divorce and was the place where so much hard work was done teaching them to speak, read and write. It became a place for all of my family to gather whenever there was a holiday or a birthday. I still miss it, because it truly was home. I have lived in a lot of places but none felt like that house. The minute I saw it I felt like it was mine. HOWEVER, as I licked my wounds I decided to move in with my parents temporarily. I am still with them, much longer than I initially planned. The beautiful part of this story is that it has been a tremendous blessing to my children. We lived just the three of us for a lot of years. Now they are surrounded by love of grandparents, aunts and uncles that are in and out. They really love it here. They love it so much I am almost afraid to leave. The truth is when I ended my marriage I had a vision of a life with my children surrounded by people that loved and appreciated them for everything that they are. I finally have that. Yesterday they came home from school to a house bustling with noise and love and craziness. I can’t put a price tag on that.
Life does not always seem good but if you let the universe work through you it will give you what you need. Things are never perfect and they may never be. I do know that I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams though. It is hard and beautiful al at the same time. I love it – and that my friends is gratitude – being happy no matter what part of the sky is falling down on us.
Sending you beautiful vibes and wishes for an amazing thanksgiving!
Love and light,