Maybe I am an eternal optimist, but I think…
You are one giant mistake away from a great new chapter in your life!!!
Life is funny. We are all full of spit and vinegar when we are young. Then all too often life kicks us in the balls. So to speak. I’m no different.
I started out a good girl student. I graduated cum laude. I went to work. I got married. I had 2 beautiful babies. Then shit happened.
We all face challenges. The details are not all the same but in truth my story is no different than a lot of others. I gained weight, lost it, got divorced, set out to raise 2 autistic kids on my own, started running, lifting weights, and yoga to take care of me. Honestly, I have had a LOT of comebacks the last few years. Every last one of them, big and small, has been an exciting education. Every time I think I am back life throws something new at me. The trick is now I know we are always a work in progress.
Here are some of my secrets to how I got back on my feet. Post divorce I did something that a lot of people just don’t do. I focused solely on me and my children. I did homework and taught them at home after school. I made dinner every night. I ran and lifted weights. I ate my vegetables. I MOSTLY ignored what my ex was up to. I did my best to operate with dignity. I was working on my comeback without really knowing it.
I ended a chapter in my life and honestly just started thinking about all of the good things I could now make room for. That said, I think I underestimated how long it would take for things to get better. Ignorance is usually bliss – so that was a good thing. As my dear friend always says…karma is right around the corner…just taking a little longer than I thought.
So, I keep making comebacks. That my friends is what life is all about. We shift, figure things out and then all of a sudden things change again. We have to keep rolling with the punches and leaning into the changes.
So here are 5 quick tips for your own personal comeback:
1 – Journal every day – write down your hopes and dreams. The first step is knowing what you want for yourself.
2 – Surround yourself with an amazing tribe – I made a fabulous group of friends after my divorce. They have been my light and support. They are the people that make me laugh and have been there for me when things weren’t so easy.
3 – Eat, sleep, move and repeat – Eat real food, get your z’s and get your body active. It can be as simple as a walk every day. Just get out there and move.
4 – Treat yourself every so often – All too often we get caught up in caring the kids, working, working out…you name it. We forget to pause and do something just for us. Maybe it’s a beach day or a manicure. Maybe it’s a new pair of shoes. The point is, put yourself on the priority list.
5- Laugh – Laugh at yourself. Laugh at someone else. Just laugh. If you lose your sense of humor you are done. Life is full of ups and downs but it can also just be outright funny. Find the humor wherever you can.
If you have read this far then you should get ready. You wanted to hear what I had to say because you sense you need a comeback too. You have it in you. It’s on the horizon. Get ready to go for it.
Love and light,
I have been telling what I believed to be my health and wellness story for the last few years. I usually start at the point where I have 3 year old autistic twins and I go to the Nutritionist. I lose the weight, feel better, get divorced, start running, lifting, yoga and find the happy, sexy centered life of my dreams. That’s the short story.
There is a really long story I can’t or won’t share here. It’s too intimate for the internet. It’s not the right venue to give the world all the details of how lonely it felt to be a new mom. It’s not the right place to talk really openly about how rejected and broken I felt at the end of my marriage. Those are the stories I save for a talk with a client in need of help. I also don’t share it partly because deep down I don’t want to normalize that. I never want to go to that place again. So, I own it and have processed it but don’t walk around with a scarlet letter on my chest (umm, no I wasn’t the adulterer).
Today, I want to tell my people reading this that life as a mom can get pretty intense. I want to say that there are times we feel lost in parenthood and marriage. I share this for anyone who feels under water TODAY. I have been there. Each chapter in our lives presents its own challenges and joys. And yes, there will be days when you feel like you are the only one drowning. I promise you are not.
I have this on my mind today because I have moved past the shitty part of my life and yet…things still come up. Just last week I had hernia surgery. No biggie. And yet…I am a single mom under the knife. It doesn’t escape my notice that I NEED to stay healthy and fit so I can be there for my kids. I do not have a safety net in life, with the exception of my parents. Some days the weight of the world feels heavy still.
The future is on my mind lately, more than the past. This is because the past taught me there is nothing certain in life. Perfectly healthy kids turn out to be autistic. Marriages go south. Homes are sold quickly. So today I share 3 important life lessons for a happier and healthier life:
1 – PIVOT – Learn to let go of the shit that doesn’t work. Too often we hold onto a life we expected to live long after it is gone. The ability to accept the shit and pivot is invaluable. It doesn’t make you a quitter or a failure. We are all human and make mistakes.
2 – TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF – Self-care was a dirty word to me when my children were small. I was so consumed with their needs I kept forgetting to put myself on the list. Now, I take extra special care of me. It makes me a better mom. I am happier, healthier and still super productive!
3 – REACH OUT TO OTHERS – Community saves us. As a single mom I made a lot of amazing new friends when I started running and joined a gym. These people are my tribe. They lift me up and make me a better woman. They push me to run more miles, lift more weight, and they are outrageously funny. I can’t imagine the last few years without them in my life. Find a tribe!!
Some days are tougher than others for everyone, please remember:
- You are not alone
- You can recover from anything as long as you are willing to keep trying something new – try and try again
- The right tools are everything
I am still on the journey. I was broken. I put the pieces back together. In many ways I think I am better than I was before. I am happier than I was before. Yet, the life I planned didn’t work out. That is a fact. But, the interesting thing is once I started to work at this life alone I felt less lonely. Once I knew I was making the break to start over the fog began to lift. I was happier, lighter and less stressed.
If I am being completely honest, I am eternally grateful that life served me ALL OF THE SHIT it did. Life turned up the heat and everything fell apart. THANK GOD FOR THAT. When we are left with nothing, we have no choice but to begin again. We are older and wiser. We have perspective. We make different choices. We get another chance to get it right. Today and every day you wake up is another opportunity to do just that. Take it.
If you any of this speaks to you click below to schedule time for a free 20 minute call to talk about how I can help you work on building your happiest and healthiest life.
Love and light,
Over 10 years ago I decided to start over in my life. I was feeling lost and broken. I felt like everything in my life was difficult. I was always trying to be perfect and get it right. The harder I tried the more things “broke”.
It was as if I were a beautiful piece of fine China that was dropped on the floor. I couldn’t be thrown away. I had to pick up all of the pieces and find a way to put them back together. The problem with doing that is that when things break the pieces tend to shift. Things change forever and we don’t put it back exactly the same. Have you ever felt that way??? It’s a terrible feeling!
So lately, I have become enamored with the Japanese practice of Kintsugi “golden joinery”. This is the method of restoring the broken pieces with a lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum. The Japanese philosophy of “wabi-sabi” means to find beauty in broken or old things”. What a beautiful concept. If we choose to see the value in the broken and lovingly restore it we can see the beauty in ourselves. We will not be restored to our original selves but maybe the bumps and bruises we acquire over the years make us more beautiful. We are certainly wiser and perhaps more in tune. Why not more beautiful?
The funny thing is with everything that was going on in my life 10 years ago, I started very simply by changing my food. It was a good start. It put me on a path to taking care of myself. Some days I literally fall back on just that. Some days I just lovingly prepare a meal for myself that will nourish my body to its best potential. Some days that is all I need.
So much happened after that. I am still a work in progress. The lovely thing that happened is that I have walked through the fire and keep rising. Somehow, 10 years later I am more fit and happy than I was at the beginning of this chapter in my life.
I won’t lie though. There are some days I still feel very vulnerable and weak. There are days I have my doubts about the future. Some days I still feel lost. BUT…most days I feel empowered. Most days I feel confident and sexy. Most days I am sure that I am on the right path. It is a daily practice of self care that keeps me on track. What I know for sure is the missteps of the past are just that – the past. I have made room in my life for new and better days.
I have been broken. I put myself back to together the best way I knew how. I am happy with the new me I crafted. Please know if I can do it anyone can.
If you are feeling the same and would like to talk about how we might work together at getting you put back together click on the link below to schedule a free intro call with me. I truly hope this serves you today.
Love and light,