I have done a lot of work around making myself a priority this past year. In the past it seemed like I always ended up in relationships where I started out just being myself. I am generally nice, ingratiating, and well a doer in general.
There is a saying amongst us woo woo hippies of the world – the universe will keep sending you the lessons you need to learn…until you finally get it! I am living proof of that. It wasn’t enough for me to marry someone who needed a second mom. I got divorced and then somehow had a “relationship” with someone who may have needed even more mothering.
Well, the universe sent that to me because I hadn’t learned my lesson. Now, most people would agree I am bright and confident. I am not one of those women who are the eternal doormat. However, I am a good egg who would never take advantage of anyone’s kindness so I make the wrong assumption that people operate the way I do.
It reminds me of a conversation I had with my sister recently. She really appreciates grumpy curmudgeons. Her point is those are the people with a very strong moral compass. They always do the right thing and they are enraged when others don’t do the same. I get that.
So, I am trying to be me but different. What does that mean? I am not going to let myself become jaded. I don’t want to assume the worst in people. I want to do nice things for others and not worry about them taking advantage of me. Is that possible? I think so! I just need to temper my actions. So now, I will do nice things but not do the bend over backwards thing. I will always remember my own feelings. Being nice is great but being a pushover is not. Truth be told, it is very unattractive.
I may slip sometimes and go back to my ways. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I just will keep working to become my best self. I will remember to take care of my own needs. I have 2 children – I don’t need to play mom to anyone else. This is important in every relationship in our lives. The truth is if I don’t behave as if my needs matter I won’t get anything back from the universe. I need to send up the bat signal! From now on, I am doing just that.
So, I ask you today…
How are you getting in your own way?
How are you selling yourself short?
Maybe you are the opposite of me. Maybe you don’t give people a chance to do the right thing. Maybe you don’t give anyone or anything the benefit of the doubt. My point is life opens up new doors when you allow yourself to see the world in a new light. Shift your perspective. Try a new way of being. You never know what you may discover about yourself and those around you. Give it a try today and every day. I know I am and I feel the shift every day.
Love and light,