I started a new practice this summer. Every day when I wake up I take out my journal and answer these questions:
– What do I want?
– What do I need?
– What am I putting in the way of those things?
I do it before I read email, check Facebook or Instagram. I do it before I make the lunches or well anything. I make the time for this by setting my clock 10 minutes earlier than usual. Ok, so I am not making the excuse that I do not have time for setting my intentions and telling myself and the universe what I want. That’s a step in the right direction.
So, when I get to the part where I answer the question what am I putting in the way here is what always comes up:
– Fear of failing
– Fear of rejection
– Fear of being hurt
So, basically it boils down to the old “f” word – FEAR. I don’t think of myself as fearful but the self doubt at the back of my mind that doesn’t quite ever completely go away is just that.
As I discussed last week, I always want to get it just right. I always thought that was a badge of honor but if we are coming clean that is fear masking itself. When we are scared of taking a chance but don’t want to admit it we don’t take the leap because the “situation is not quite right”.
Well, an old friend used to say to me “knowing where we are going wrong is the first step”. He was right, but as I pointed out to him…at some point we need to move on from that. It is great to be aware of where we are falling flat but what are we going to do to change that??
For my part, I can say that I have been really digging deep and getting to the bottom of where my fear and doubts come from. I have been breaking through a lot of blocks and understanding where my thinking has been incorrect. So here is what I am doing to begin to make the changes I need to shift away from these fears:
– I am taking leaps even when I am feeling unsure of myself
– I writing down not simply where I am stuck – I am writing down the reasons I am stuck in this pattern so I can see where my thinking was in error
– I am writing down “I choose to see this differently”
I think it is important to get to the root and show myself where this faulty thinking began. By doing this I can see how far away from the present this is. Is it really that simple? If I chose to see things differently will they change? I believe so. I am going to believe it 100%. If I believe it I will act on it.
We always have a choice in every situation. Every challenge in life asks us to step up and be our best selves. So right now I am going to keep asking the tough questions and stepping up to the plate. I think I need to, because I want to see things differently and honestly I feel like I have nothing to lose.
“Knock, And He’ll open the door
Vanish, And He’ll make you shine like the sun
Fall, And He’ll raise you to the heavens
Become nothing, And He’ll turn you into everything.”
Go out there and take a leap…because wouldn’t it be nice if our dreams became our reality???
Love and light