How many of us do it? Judge others? Judge ourselves? How often do you start a sentence with “I’m not judging but….”? We all do it. Some of us engage in this more than others. Here is what I can tell you I know for sure about being the judge:
– The people that are always judging have something to prove, they are secretly judging themselves harshly
– If you paused to imagine what another was going through and out yourself in their shoes you would be slower to judge
– Judging makes us small
– Judging yourself for mistakes is a form of procrastination, it just keeps you stuck
– Life get lighter when we just accept the things that are and do not place a judgment on it as good or bad
NONE OF THE ABOVE SERVES YOU OR THE GREATER GOOD
If judging ourselves and others had the power to make all right with the world then the world would be a pretty perfect place. Now I am not pretending to be perfect. I do it on occasion but when I catch myself I put the brakes on. Here is a little judgment gut check:
– Are you discussing someone else’s personal life as a form of gossip? When you speak someone else’s story do you do it with love in your heart or are you feeling a bit superior when someone slips and falls?
– When you make an error in judgment do you beat yourself up?
– Do you imagine that others are speaking about your life choices all the time?
– Do you find yourself explaining your decisions to friends and family?
– Are you seeing approval and happiness outside of you?
I bring this up because so many of us get caught in this trap. We talk about people so we assume they are talking about us. We judge others harshly so we assume they are doing the same to us. We are unforgiving when we see others make mistakes so we don’t forgive ourselves either. Where does this sort of thinking get us though?
Let’s commit to:
– Be empathetic – put yourself in the “other’s” shoes
– Be kind to yourself, talk to yourself the way you would your best friend
– Assume everyone is being kind to us – a lot of people are and if you are wrong what is the harm? Surround yourself with good vibes.
– Not gossiping
– Catching ourselves in judgment and changing the thought process to “That person is going through a tough time, I am going to send them good thoughts”
This all takes practice just like anything else. It gets easier as life goes on for me. Over the years my life has taken many twists and turns I never expected. I have arrived in a place that some days I can’t believe this is me still standing and moving forward. So, I have love in my heart for anyone who is struggling. The real question isn’t why do I but why shouldn’t I? Everyone is struggling. Everyone is trying to live their life. Everyone is doing their best. For some their best may not appear good enough, but maybe they don’t have the right tools yet. Just for a day try it…drop your judgment.
Love and light,