Age is just a number…blah blah blah

Age is just a number. We believe life is better with these phrases. People fall back on them when they are feeling down. Is that completely true though?

I recently turned 46. Lots of people comment on how I look much younger. It makes me feel good but at the end of the day I am 46. On top of that, my children just turned 12. They are not babies any longer. So, I am 46 and I have two 12 year olds. I am not a kid anymore.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It’s not because I want to look younger. I think I look pretty good. It is not because I want to feel younger. I feel better at 46 than I felt at 36.

I told a friend recently that I look at young families and have a little envy of missing that time in my life. The happiest days of my entire life were when I was pregnant. It’s because life was full of possibility. I couldn’t wait to meet these people and see who they would become.

I will tell you something very personal. When I split with my ex-husband I was 39. I pictured myself meeting someone who had two children as well. We would get married and have one more child together. My two, his two and one more together to seal the deal. It seemed like the divorce would give me a clean slate so I could have a do over. That did not happen.

So now I am 46 and been on my own since 2009. Life has been more complicated than I anticipated. It has been good, bad and complicated. I needed to do a lot of healing and growing. Now, I am ready to bring a new and healthy relationship into my life. But the numbers don’t lie. I am not realistically thinking about a new baby so much these days. I am older. My kids are older. Life has a rhythm and has gotten a million times easier. And yet, when that dawned on me I felt sad. I wanted that possibility.

So, I did some soul searching. I think the thing to do is drop the old contrite sayings. Age is age. Time passes. We can’t look back with regret or get it back. The only ting we have for sure is today. Maybe what we need to do is fill each day up with so many possibilities that the sky is the limit! That is all we can do at any stage of life.

My dear friend pointed out to me that although that part of my life is behind me I really do not know what is ahead of me or around the corner. She is right. Life is full of surprises. Some of them are good. Some not so good. Each day leads us down a new path though. I have finally surrendered to the universe. I do not make plans any more. I do not try to control the outcome. I just ask for what I need and want and put my head down and do the work day to day. I now have faith that it will all come in time. Not when I say. It may not look the way I expected it to. I surrender to this and a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

You can utilize this thinking for any aspect of your life. Romance, career, adventure.

The universe has a plan. It is all good. Patience, faith and love. Just like that.

Love and Light,

Tara
xoxoxo