When we were children that was an easy question to answer. As we get older it becomes more difficult. Perhaps that is because we complicate things. A friend recently told me “don’t make a habit out of an event”. In other words, don’t turn a bad experience over and over in your mind and react in the future as if that will keep happening. Don’t act from a place of fear.
We all have bumps in the road of life. We are all tested. Life must have ups and downs. It isn’t a point A to point B trip. We want to make sense of it. We want our next move to be the right one. We don’t want to make the mistakes of the past all over again. So why do we? FEAR.
Fear is a funny thing. We all know it is created in our mind. We all know it’s not fact, not real. However, many of us let it get in the way of our best life. We take the job or don’t take the job because of fear. We marry the man or don’t marry the man because of fear. We move or don’t move because of fear.
I made a list of my biggest fears. I needed to figure out where I am getting in my own way. So here are the top 3:
– Fear of failing
– Fear of Rejection
– Fear of being controlled
The first 2 are basic no brainers. No one wants to fail or be rejected. However, the third one I recently realized might be the real BIG BAD MONSTER.
I have been digging deep and working on my self. It came to me fairly recently that one of my biggest fears isn’t that I wont be loved. It is that I will be loved in a way that suffocates me. In my mind I think I associate a great love with someone who wants to rule me. It seems the wolf inside me will attack itself to not let that happen. I keep choosing relationships that do not present a threat to my control because that fear is so great. So, I end up in relationships with people who are needy, weak and will never take care of me. WOW. So, this is my own doing.
So what is your big block? What is your big fear? If you feel like you keep getting stuck in the same place maybe it is time to dig a little deeper.
The important part is identifying the BIG ONE. What is the real big fear that is making you get in your own way?? I know mine now and I am ready to begin again. I am ready to face that fear. I am not going to make a habit out of old events any more.
Love and Light