As last week ended with the funeral of a cousin who passed quite suddenly and definitely too young I was reminded of that ridiculous line — “I don’t have a crystal ball”. When my son was less than two I brought him to a neurologist because I knew he was not developing typically. I was in the midst of a perfect storm in my life. I moved with two babies who were under 2, started speech therapy for one and made the appointment to see this doctor to get some real “answers” as to how bad it really was. Up until that point he had been delayed but no one used the “A” word – autism. It is actually comical how much people are afraid to use it.
So, my dad and I took my sweet baby to see this lady. Her official diagnosis was – we cannot rule out PDD at this point in time. If you are reading this and you have never been down this road, as I had not, you would be wondering what does that even mean? I paid hundreds of dollars out of pocket for that? I sat there looking for answers as I met this woman. As I asked her what this would mean, what would happen to him her matter of fact response was just that – I don’t have a crystal ball, even if your son was typical I wouldn’t know what was going to happen in his life in years to come.
So, I hated her and her response. I was a mother looking for answers. I was told to get him as much therapy as possible and hope for the best. It was disheartening to say the least. However, I look back on those words from time to time and realize they were so very true. So much of what’s around the corner is unknown.
Here is my takeaway from it this week….
– We never know if our health will last so we need to do our best to honor and care for our bodies
– Life is short and we need to live it to it’s fullest because we never know what is around the corner
– We can and must do our best for our children but we cannot control how their lives turn out
– We need to be vigilant in caring for and about the people we love and not take them for granted
Life is so unpredictable. We never know which way things are going to turn. In the last few days I have sat with this and renewed my faith in well faith and love. We live in times of great uncertainty and much hate. Stop what you are doing today and turn inwards. Stop worrying about what everyone else believes in or is doing. Take care of you and yours. A better life starts with you. I don’t have a crystal ball but I see a movement of great love on the horizon. I put my life in the hands of the universe.
Love and light,