I have been telling what I believed to be my health and wellness story for the last few years. I usually start at the point where I have 3 year old autistic twins and I go to the Nutritionist. I lose the weight, feel better, get divorced, start running, lifting, yoga and find the happy, sexy centered life of my dreams. That’s the short story.
There is a really long story I can’t or won’t share here. It’s too intimate for the internet. It’s not the right venue to give the world all the details of how lonely it felt to be a new mom. It’s not the right place to talk really openly about how rejected and broken I felt at the end of my marriage. Those are the stories I save for a talk with a client in need of help. I also don’t share it partly because deep down I don’t want to normalize that. I never want to go to that place again. So, I own it and have processed it but don’t walk around with a scarlet letter on my chest (umm, no I wasn’t the adulterer).
Today, I want to tell my people reading this that life as a mom can get pretty intense. I want to say that there are times we feel lost in parenthood and marriage. I share this for anyone who feels under water TODAY. I have been there. Each chapter in our lives presents its own challenges and joys. And yes, there will be days when you feel like you are the only one drowning. I promise you are not.
I have this on my mind today because I have moved past the shitty part of my life and yet…things still come up. Just last week I had hernia surgery. No biggie. And yet…I am a single mom under the knife. It doesn’t escape my notice that I NEED to stay healthy and fit so I can be there for my kids. I do not have a safety net in life, with the exception of my parents. Some days the weight of the world feels heavy still.
The future is on my mind lately, more than the past. This is because the past taught me there is nothing certain in life. Perfectly healthy kids turn out to be autistic. Marriages go south. Homes are sold quickly. So today I share 3 important life lessons for a happier and healthier life:
1 – PIVOT – Learn to let go of the shit that doesn’t work. Too often we hold onto a life we expected to live long after it is gone. The ability to accept the shit and pivot is invaluable. It doesn’t make you a quitter or a failure. We are all human and make mistakes.
2 – TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF – Self-care was a dirty word to me when my children were small. I was so consumed with their needs I kept forgetting to put myself on the list. Now, I take extra special care of me. It makes me a better mom. I am happier, healthier and still super productive!
3 – REACH OUT TO OTHERS – Community saves us. As a single mom I made a lot of amazing new friends when I started running and joined a gym. These people are my tribe. They lift me up and make me a better woman. They push me to run more miles, lift more weight, and they are outrageously funny. I can’t imagine the last few years without them in my life. Find a tribe!!
Some days are tougher than others for everyone, please remember:
- You are not alone
- You can recover from anything as long as you are willing to keep trying something new – try and try again
- The right tools are everything
I am still on the journey. I was broken. I put the pieces back together. In many ways I think I am better than I was before. I am happier than I was before. Yet, the life I planned didn’t work out. That is a fact. But, the interesting thing is once I started to work at this life alone I felt less lonely. Once I knew I was making the break to start over the fog began to lift. I was happier, lighter and less stressed.
If I am being completely honest, I am eternally grateful that life served me ALL OF THE SHIT it did. Life turned up the heat and everything fell apart. THANK GOD FOR THAT. When we are left with nothing, we have no choice but to begin again. We are older and wiser. We have perspective. We make different choices. We get another chance to get it right. Today and every day you wake up is another opportunity to do just that. Take it.
If you any of this speaks to you click below to schedule time for a free 20 minute call to talk about how I can help you work on building your happiest and healthiest life.
Love and light,